Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The New Wave of LOVE


There is a deep soul-level silence that is palpably permeating the planet right now.  The human heart is opening and adjusting to the amplified frequencies of love, and many are left reeling from all that has transpired since March began.  It's not as if we didn't know the magnitude of change that was before us, but the impact of it all...the integrating and aligning…is now pulsing thru every level of our being, felt in every bone in our bodies. 

So much has taken place within and around us that we are just now beginning to figure out where these shifts landed us. It almost feels like we endured a shipwreck in the middle of the night, were cast out to sea on a life raft and left to the fate of the tides.  By sunrise, we notice that we are bumping into the rocks of a new, unknown, unexplored shore.  This is where we are right now with regard to our new level of consciousness.


New Template of Love

The devastating & recalibrating events that took place in Japan and shook the globe last week, in a very literal sense, were the result of the same energies that precipitated a major heart & plexus opening throughout all of humanity.  The energies behind this event caused a massive expansion in the (high) heart, as well as the solar plexus, and this expansion process is creating the new template of love that is now anchoring on the planet.  This new love is a combination of empowered love (high heart) & spiritual wisdom (solar plexus)…what the unseens refer to as the activation of the "body brain".

On a physical level, this opening can be felt in the center of the chest, thru the back of the heart and in the pit of the stomach. Symptoms can vary based on our personal collection of energetic/genetic miasms, but generally our solar plexus (third chakra) is linked to our stomach, abdomen, upper GI tract, liver, gallbladder, pancreas, kidney, spleen and adrenal glands…and the heart center (fourth chakra) is linked to our heart, lungs, blood vessels, shoulders, ribs, breasts, diaphragm, and upper esophagus, and so all of these areas are subject to cellular detoxification during this time.

Some of the more prominent symptoms may be manifesting as tightening/pain in the chest, shortness of breath, anxiety, extreme and unrelenting heartburn/indigestion, acid reflux, nausea, heart-flutters, palpitations, arrhythmia, soreness/sensitivity in detox organs and along the spine.   (**NOTE: for the lucky ones experiencing that drop-to-the-floor heartburn, drinking a little baking soda in water is the only thing I have found to put out the fire…temporarily) Also, as these energy centers open more fully, it can also cause great discomfort in the middle of the back where many are unfolding their "etheric wings" (opening the energy center behind the heart)….I am hearing that those affiliated with the first wave of the ascension timeline are affected/afflicted by these energies the most right now.

We are still in the throes of integrating this new wave of love which not only alters, or recodes the layers of the auric body, but…in biological terms...stimulates the thymus gland (located behind the breastbone between the heart and throat) to literally expand, which also forces the chest to expand to house the enlarged gland which is now receiving even greater influxes of light. 

In other words, love hurts ; ))


Empowered Love

The growing high heart energy center governs compassion and inner peace as well as our connection to the world soul.  This recent heart opening is why we (humanity) are no longer exempt from the human condition as a whole…and just as we are more increasingly (and viscerally) affected by what takes place on the global stage, we are also affecting the whole of humanity more directly and profoundly now.  We have always known that we are all connected, but as the heart reemerges as the primary thinking center, we are coming to know this in more effable ways.

The overall result of this expansion/opening/activation is yielding our advanced divine-human capabilities to love beyond (mental & e-motional) attachment. This higher level of love transcends e-motion and is what is required to effortlessly and successfully navigate thru the remaining years of global ascension. Those capable of tapping into, harnessing, grounding and fully embodying this divine-love are those who have stabilized enough to lead the next group of ground troops into the new era. 

It's important to realize that this love is not the same as compassion.  Tho it includes compassion, it is at a much higher level...more like empathy versus sympathy where we can understand the feelings of others without getting entangled, overwhelmed and lost in those feelings.  And it is even broader and more comprehensive than that…it is the kind of love that holds all of humanity in a safe space by deeply knowing and exuding from within that "everything is in divine-perfect order" regardless of the external circumstances that will continue to challenge and befuddle us. 

This love is the same type of unconditional love that we have received from our soul teams and spirit guides through our own ascension process over the last 12 years while we endured the dismantling, restructuring and rebuilding of our personal lives.  Even tho our guides care so deeply for our well-being, they never dwell on, or identify with our suffering or darkness knowing it would only serve to enhance our pain.  Instead, they softly & continually lift our sights to a more expanded view...to the greater acts of love that often precipitate our suffering... those same acts that force us to embrace and cultivate more of our potential. 

This is the love that the lightworkers, starseeds, indigos, etc. are being asked to embrace and embody now…without wavering.  We are being prompted to apply the divine feminine principals of love in a divinely masculine way…to hold the pillars of light in place by remaining strong and disciplined in our focus (divine father archetype energy), and while nurturing humanity with the feeling that "all is well" (divine mother archetype energy).  At this stage of our journey it is our constant responsibility to remain neutral knowing that our wavering thoughts can create profound waves of electrical distortion which can greatly magnify the thoughts of powerlessness and discordance in the collective mind.

The kind of higher vibrational love that we are called to put forth is empowered and responsible, and therefore does not identify with or feed the collective mind with disempowering thoughts of the same vibration…thoughts such as sympathy and pity.  Contrary to that, divine-love emanates neutrality…the golden elixir of creation… which cradles those in need and fills the collective mind with thoughts of empowered love, peace, possibility & potential.

To a polarized mind, this type of love…love with detachment…may seem callous and unfeeling, but it is really the opposite of that.  It is such a high vibration of love that it encompasses the entire gamut of human e-motion, from one polar extreme to the other. To get here, one must personally traverse and transmute the collective shadow of humanity by experiencing and integrating (thru FEELing) all aspects of human darkness, where we eventually can accept suffering as the pathway to wholeness thru contrast…and without becoming immobilized/traumatized  from it.


Plugged-in to Source

For those who are beginning to experience this new-human characteristic of empowered love, you may be noticing that external events are no longer shaking you to the core, and if they are, your rebound rate is quickening…that you have a stronger ability to stay centered while witnessing (perceived) human tragedy and can (finally) distance yourself from the pain of others.  This ability is a direct result of our reconnection to our internal power-Source…we are increasingly less dependent upon external sources to sustain us which means we are less affected by them as well.  Our internal state of being now takes precedence over everything so things that used to once thwart us no longer have that power over us.

This is the ultimate state of "being in the world but not of it."

Since lightworkers, starseeds, indigos, etc. are tremendous empaths, getting to this place was a rather daunting feat, but deeply…genetically…we understood that transcending the emotional body was a must and that we could only be successful as true light-bearers when we achieved this state of balance from within. Well...this state is now and we are starting to feel it.

This empowered love that comes from being plugged-in to our internal power Source is the only kind of love that will carry us thru to the new age…it is the substance that we must use to build the bridges for more of the masses to walk over….a love that serves as the fortified light and shines like a beacon thru the surfacing darkness that will continually threaten to engulf humanity thru this powerful time of transition.

This type of love is anchoring and what we have worked so long and hard to achieve…it is the support system required to rebuild our earth.  We are still learning, and in the process we are perfecting the art of temperance…remaining as the eye of the hurricane, the grounded still-point of the swirling winds that brings everything into balance and helps others to feel secure.  This is divine-love-in-action…the only way of the way-shower.



The Unity Wave

On March 20/21st, the day of the vernal equinox in the north (autumnal in the south) and followed by a super "perigee moon", there was another wave of awakening souls released from the 3d dimensional matrix of mental captivity.

I am hearing that this next wave activation period actually began with the massive X-class solar flare that precipitated the geomagnetic disruptions and resulted in the monumental earth shifting that took place last week.  I don't think its a coincidence that on March 9th, we entered the period of the Ninth Wave ...the final evolutionary wave of energy to push humanity into unity consciousness (according to Carl Johan Calleman)…and on the same day we experienced a massive X-class earth-directed solar flare… and on March 11, an 11:11 star gate day, Uranus (aka, the Great Awakener) entered Aries the same day an 8.9 earthquake and tsunami ravaged Japan.

From what I am hearing, this massive shift into unity consciousness was enabled by a divinely ordered amalgamation of celestial, stellar, solar & galactic happenings that served three purposes:

1- Shook the planet and her people to the core which jolted the mass consciousness to a conscious level of interconnectivity.

2- Created a massive wave of heart-opening for all of humanity.

3- Pushed those prepared to enter the unity timeline as forerunners of the new paradigm deeper into alignment with their original divine blueprints so they are/will be even further removed from the 3d dimensional dross.

This is all a simultaneous happening precipitated by the same magnanimous forces of creation and depending on where we reside on our path to full-human potential.   Ascension is not a singular act, but one of great diversity…each and everyone of us at our own and varied levels of conscious participation with our personal and global evolution.  In other words, the energies of co-creation are available to us now, however, we are not all on the same timeline and so each of us will experience these energies according to how far we've progressed on our personal ascension path.

"As those prepared to enter into full participation with the unity wave of consciousness begin to settle onto their new axis, another group of souls begin the next phase of awakening.  This simultaneous shift is what will propel those new world teachers and pioneers to the fore...they will be called forth in great demand. The numbers increase in your favor now, a timed-release awaits at a fortnight. Pray tell. "  -The Spiritual Hierarchy


Dealing With Compression

So much to do, so little time!

The Pleiadians have been sharing with me that many are finding it difficult to center in the space required to be released from the time/space continuum, or linear timeline, and would like to make it clear that that there is no way to "rationalize" with these folding energies.   As we make our complete transition to the unity timeline, we are still caught between worlds and we can very easily get caught up in the swirling energies of collapsing linear time, and even be tormented if we are attached to the process.

The racy thoughts and feelings associated with the compression, or the seeming increase in time, is a due to the expiration of the old construct, while we are not yet fully immersed in the new.  This in-between space can be a confusing time because the energy required to keep up with linear time is not consistent with the rate by which it is passing…which ultimately just leaves our heads spinning and our hearts racing. This is why it is becoming so difficult to "schedule" anything because everything seems like it is happening at once. 

Even the season changes feel different somehow…for example, Spring is finally here in the north, the flowers are beginning to break thru the earth, and the sun is getting warmer, yet somehow  it feels like Spring was just here…like winter didn't even happen, even tho I know it was long & grueling.  When I think about the winter we just had,  I can remember the feelings associated with it and how long it seemed, but then when I think about Spring, I am so fully immersed in its presence that winter fades out completely.  Its really does feel like everything is happening at once, but not.  So surreal.

To all of this they say "let go of your attachments to time….cease to resist its passing and you will find yourself more easily aligned with the eternalness of the present."  Obviously, this is a lot to ask because most of our reality constructs in 3d are created according to linear and not cyclical time. To let go of the linear time construct threatens to make us all even more reclusive (if that's possible), however, to maintain our equilibrium in this year of incredibly rapid evolution, it will be required that we do so.

We can no longer look to life as something that needs to be accomplished, but as something that begs to be experienced.  This is the difference between the old paradigm and the new.  In the new, all that exists, exists because we are co-creating it with greater forces of intelligence and divine timing. Creation does not require a linear format here, so we are learning to jump around and bend with the energies that beckon us thru our hearts and not our minds.

In lieu of setting deadlines, we are better supported here to set time lines...a concept where time moves from event to event and not necessarily in a straight line. The difference is in the flow, the release of mind-made parameters that open to the divine flow of perfection.

The unseens also remind us that a solid way to release ourselves from the compression of linear time is to keep ourselves anchored in the present thru mindful activity.  Activities that keep us focused in our bodies will serve us well this year and prove to be more effective than in times past.  This is because our physical bodies are housing the new frequencies more than ever and therefore the new timeline exists within us, not around us.  To access this state of eternalness, we can consciously make the switch from the external to the internal through body-focused tasks or activities.

To greater love!
Lauren

ThinkWithYourHeart.net

P.S.  just a heads up that there is another big sunspot emerging as I write this.  You may be feeling it already with deep fatigue, sudden waves of vertigo and/or mental disorientation, back/neck pain & tightening and muscle fatigue.  If you randomly blow up like a water balloon or feel your body starting to buck in defiance of something, this could be it.

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182 comments:

  1. I feel so bad, I've blown up at my husband a few times out of the blue, for no reason within the last 2 days.

    I had one of my lowest days return, along with one of my worst migraines, around the 14th. I kept wanting to personalize with the low feelings, but put my attention on it as an observer, and then it was gone.

    The migraine helped me quit my chocolate habit. Well...for the most part.

    Anyone else feeling nothing else but APATHY? I was feeling like I didn't even care how this "new life" would turn out. And I also had no motivation.

    Now, I'm using a motivational reward system just to function through my day. Do something on my to-do list...then reward with something I like to do (tv/treat/nap).

    Good luck to all those going through this and hope that some of this helps you...

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  2. was already waiting for your post yesterday..thank you it is here. What you describe is what I was feeling the past days. Here the love you are talking about - feel the energy: http://bit.ly/ewq0cM

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  3. Thanks Lauren! I´m just breathing through it all ;]

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  4. You. Are. Soooo Cool! :) Thank you Lauren!!!

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  5. Thank you for this..I appreciate your posts more than you can imagine.

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  6. Lauren, as always this is a wonderful and timely post. It reminded me of things I needed to remember in order to stay centered in the heart to broadcast "All is well." I wanted to write to suggest taking DGL (Deglycyrrhizinated licorice) for heartburn, which most health food stores carry. (Be sure to get the sweetened kind!) It's chewable and I found it quickly reduces the heartburn.

    Thank you for your unconditional love and incredible energy updates!!

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  7. Thank you so much Lauren, it resonates completely with my experience!

    Namaste

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  8. All Iv been thinking the past week is how detached I feel (especially with Japan), but feel a new state of Love, and how this state is extremely important for me to eventually share with people and pass on - in summary, you really said it perfectly. I can see how those very wrapped up in 3d ego may at first percieve it as callous, I even thought it seemed so surfacely myself. And time, just focusing on my own version and being of time.. lots of yard work to keep the winds out of my sails so to speak..

    :-)
    http://www.growingupindigo.com

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  9. Your words are singing to my heart today. Thank you!!! love this..

    "We can no longer look to life as something that needs to be accomplished, but as something that begs to be experienced."

    Nicole

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  10. I admire your stamina Lauren! And as usual - right on spot. Love the way you describe empowered love ;)

    Namasté
    Deva Anupada

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  11. right on, expansive love without attachment. knowing that I am emanating my love, that is what is required. Letting my heart lead and trusting this reclusive lifestyle as to schedule anything or have some commitment is not possible. Knowing that my teacher role will come back into play soon.
    I appreciate you Lauren. Thank you for being you so perfectly! We are all shining and the equinox weekend felt holy to me. We have entered in and it will never be as hard again! Amen to that.

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  12. As usual, just in time. The unseens and you know when we are at our witts end, some of us. I was again ready to dive from a cliff today as I was in the bath. Then I heard-where is lauren? Minutes later, here you are. Thank you GOD!!! Last week I loved unconditionally everyone and it was so great. Then the new energies came and BAM!

    The higher love is here, but the breaking away of the rest is brutal. I feel I am almost there, yet feeling a sinking to the bottom too.

    I am holding on, keeping the faith as best I can. Can't help but be angry at this, but i know we are getting ready to fly. Darkest before the dawn, and WE bring the dawn, with some help from our friends. :-)

    Sorry to the ones I hurt in that letting go. Im workin on it, with all i have. I love you, and everyone. Thank you

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  13. Ohh Lauren...What can I say? Every word fits perfectly with our reality (mine for sure!).
    Thanks so much for explaining so fully.It brings tears of joy to know that it's not just me and my wild imagination!
    Hugs, much Love and Light!
    Kuaya

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  14. I'm having a really low time right now. I had a blowout with a friend this weekend over some useless topics, and I can't tell her a lot of the whys behind my thoughts and feelings because she's not a lightworker and wouldn't understand what "knowing" is about, or how come I believe certain things because Kryon or Archangel Michael said so.

    I had a upper GI or maybe gall bladder attack last week that put me on my knees for 2 hours. I'm very apathetic about everything. I feel unenthused about my part time work. My income is starting to disappear AGAIN, with no relief in sight, and expenses will be rising on me starting next month.

    I can also feel the preliminary rumblings of Mercury retrograde affecting things.

    I'm just really, really sad and annoyed (on top of the usual symptoms).
    I'm having a stretch whereby if somebody told me "feel grateful for this time and look around you and appreciate the beauty of the clouds" or something like that I'd clock them so they fall to the pavement--hard! (sorry, I'm not really a mean person, I just feel really ...weird)

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  15. Thanx, Lauren. I am in the process of a huge move, across the sea - am returning home to the States - and the timeline sentence you wrote fits what's happening to me to a "T". Everyone keeps asking me about my deadline for this, and for that. For some reason to me it's just a wavy timeline, LOL. I'm having to materialize everything from the ground up - thankfully I will have a job waiting for me - I've been thru the ringer over the past few - lost my house (foreclosure), moved overseas for a 'better' life - the one thing that did happen was an acceleration of learning for me. So for that I am eternally grateful. Thanx for this post..

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  16. Again your comments are so timely for me. As a type A personality I am quickly learning how to adapt to not being able to schedule anything or make definite plans. To paraphrase "life begs to be experienced" are words that will serve me well. Again thanks

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  17. Thank you, Lauren!:)
    I was waiting your message until yesterday!!
    Much Love and warmth to you, just because of You!)))

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  18. Oh, Lauren, so timely, this popped up just as I got online. As I read this message, many yawns appeared and cleared my heart. I have experienced extreme midback knots and tension and am glad to hear about expanding our wings. Although I am a very sensitive person, I have always been good at detaching from emotional states in the world. Your words gave such comfort, that I am not just an unfeeling human but flying toward unconditonal love. I got thru the equinox very calmly but now feel the aloneness and apathy of this inbetween state. That part about being even more reclusive was great! Thanks for bringing us kindred spirits together in JOY!...xox

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  19. Oh Lauren!

    How fine expressed!

    Thankyou very much!

    I do feel the whole shadow and also the light, beautiful and so happy -light- energies. I am them and they are me!

    Neutral... ok. Let´s just live and experience it!

    Thankyou and wish all the best to the Whole Team of the New!

    Kisses, embraces and much luck/alertness!

    Rín

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  20. @charlie and becky, why quit chocolate? i heard it was gret for grounding...

    well at least this explains all the issues ive been having with the heart flutters and palps and pain/tight in the chest, anxiety... the burning stomach... pain in my back behind my heart... crazy when you mention all these things, its all been bothering me....has gotten better recently though....

    and yes im having the fatigue and was dizzy earlier... this is so much fun ;)

    still in my not so happy place right now, just feeling down, alone, stressed, have no money, no job, just feel yucky....but im hangin in there....

    thank you Lauren

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  21. Lauren... again, as always, without fail, you are an eternal light!

    Thank you for posting, sharing, spreading.

    All is happening perfectly, and I love the reassurance that the high heart is "in charge" right now.

    Blessings to you!

    XO,
    Molly

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  22. Thanks very much for enlightening me again! I'm not sure where I come in all of this, but so much of all of your posts makes sense, I shall carry on working the way I do and trust I'm being guided to do the right things :-) peace and love! charlie

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  23. I feel like my entire body is going thru a wringer washer roller, for those that are not old enough to know what that is, look it up on the net..LOL, thank you so much Lauren for all your posts I tend to lose what is going on with my body til your blog comes out and it puts everything back into perspective again, woke up this morning in a very dark mood, since I read your blog it has disappeared, I am a caregiver to my husband who is quadriplegic and I am battling breast cancer, what a pair we are.. thank god for your posts they relly help put things into perspective

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  24. Wonderfull Lauren as always . Every word fits,almost perfectly with my reality (mine of course ).
    Thanks so much for explaining so fully I even cry (of joy ) when I read the first paragrafh. Its amaizing how you can explain such a complex phenomenen . Your post are very important for me because they are maps that guide me in this new territory. Thanks again for your help. Blessing you.
    Berta

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  25. Hello there,

    I identify with so many of the previous comments that I got confused and decided not to say anything else! LOL
    Lauren, THANK YOU.

    Love,
    Ivy

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  26. Lauren, I would be lost without your updates. I’ve got lots of thoughts to post in comments but one thought popped into my head just after I’d read your latest and was going to sleep.

    (I’d be amazed if it was my own. I think that one of my new guides just elbowed me in the ribs (telepathically speaking, of course hehe) and said, “Oi! Don’t forget about ...”

    The thought:- anyone else notice the striking similarity between staying focused in the now, staying neutral no matter what is happening around you, being a living example for how to behave in tumultuous circumstances, vibrating with this newly discovered “higher love” AND the way the Japanese people who have been directly devastated by the tsunami are reacting to it? They are queuing in a calm and orderly fashion for life’s necessities. They are sitting in shelters (together, in UNITY), waiting for food, electricity etc. There is very little panic, wailing, shouting, fighting ... look at how these amazing souls are reacting to these events!!! Their highly disciplined inner-life is as powerful as the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disasters that have hit their country! Outer-life chaos is being balanced by inner-life tranquillity resulting in neutrality manifesting. They are an amazing example to the whole Universe, let alone their country and the planet! I humbly bow in awe to all of them....

    Love, LW.

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  27. mmm.. but i have heard it all before and think im seeing through it now.

    Did u enjoy this post? Now u can thank me with a donation!

    You have to smile, and please everyone do think with your wisest most independent heart...

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  28. @ Janetto:-

    You know something, you’re absolutely right. I’m going to make a donation to A VERY LOVED LAUREN. I can afford $11. I wish that I could make it $111 or $1111 but that’s all I can afford right now. All I know (thinking with my heart) is that LAUREN LOVES US ALL WHETHER WE CAN AFFORD TO DONATE $1, $11, $111, $1111 or nothing at all.

    Love to Janetto, love to you all x.

    P.S. Oh, I almost forgot ... Love to Lauren x. :-)

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  29. As a starseed, I have undergone many deep changes. of course physical, mental, emotional, and the oh big one, spirit of God within part that weaves to merge with who I thought I am. The new waves are raising us so quick, I have returned to quite literal points of view that I thought were over. apparently any last bits of expectancy to others has no place in our new life here on earth. So, Quality Love has been forever serving us and finally we get to have that real experience in body as we let go of the "other" ways of how we used to "love" or hold eachother. Transitions of one paradigm to another prances around us, conditions or not, to be suffered or not when we move through Christ Light. So far I help myself when I align in God's love and let go of all else. It is really "time" to be "out of time" reality, quite literal. Something like "don't think, just be". Thank you for serving everyone at this time and know all is correct for us in our movement ahead.

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  31. Wow Lauren! What a spectacular post, and thankyouthankyouthankyou for this extraordinary information :D :D
    I've had intense acid reflux/acid urine since about March 9 (learned a lot about alkalizing my diet, wondering why it wasn't helping much). The baking soda works wonders -- and so does the information you have passed to us from the Kind and Loving Pleiadians :D :D

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  32. Thank you for this very timely confirmation Lauren. It and YOU are greatly appreciated!

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  33. Thanks very much Lauren, :)

    Something that I love about your updates, is that you talk in terms and in a way that is coherent with what many Yoga gurus and buddhist teachers (and many teachers of authentic spiritual paths) say. So I just love the "taste" of them- Updates about world energy and channeling with new-age terms, plus a sense of receiving an authentic, "real" feeling talk (can I compare it to satsang? :D ).

    Love it,

    Thanks :)

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  34. i'm moving in with one of lauren's readers from a different state. it's going to be perfect.

    i feel so harmonic.

    this is really happening :D

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  35. Thank you so much Lauren! You amaze me that through it all, you keep doing your part that brings insight and comfort to so many!
    Love and peace to all CJ

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  36. Thank you,
    just perfect, I resonate!
    Love
    GB

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  37. Janette, you say you have heard it all before. This post is different (well I think it is to some extent) to most of Lauren's posts cos there is very little in the post that a "normal", 3D emotion and thought based person, like many if not all of us are, can take comfort in :)

    Usually there is a fair bit more of what I, as a fairly "normal" 3D based (with regard to emotions and thoughts and desires and judgments of what is "desirable" and what is "undesirable") person, can find to make me think that "things are getting better" (which of course is a very 3D kind of better in my mind :))

    This post however isn't appealing to the part of me that takes comfort in that 3D version of "things are getting better" because it (the post) is pretty much saying that "things are getting worse" to the part of me that is still dependent on a 3D way of being :)

    Anyway, I resonate with the information big time and its actually quite depressing because it seems that there isn't much of an upside for poor old 3D me, even though he (3D me) would love to come on this journey too in a way that he could still get to enjoy SOME of his old pleasures. As in, the way unconditional love seems to sound from its description here is a sort of zombie like state and while I am pretty sure that is just my interpretation, it still makes it a bit of a challenge for me to take an optimistic stance going forward.

    I suppose I would be a lot less "unoptimistic" if I didn't still feel like same old little 3D me :)

    Daniel

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  38. does anyone else's feet feel really cold lately?

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  39. I've been taken ill in a very strange way. At first there were my lungs, then my throat then my sinuses. It's been a painful 5 days, with tormenting cough, fever that seems to return out of nowhere, dizzies, as if there was a vacuum cleaner inside of me. And then I've got the message: "you are expanding your upper mind which get united with you upper heart, but you still have to understand something that has to do with faith and love". Therefore I sat a gathering last night in my room with everybody a shaman could gather. This morning I am symptoms free, even the nasty stuff from my wind pipe is gone. Then I read this article :).

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  42. Complete confirmation once again. Laughing I am at your comments about becoming even more so recluse, in that I have gone from 3 years of solo withdrawal from city society to living on an island with a population of 1000. This extrovert ex-socialite girl is loving the detachment from mainstream stuff and 'feeling' the love of Mother Earth. Who woulda thunk!

    Also laughing in that after the last few years of extreme poverty (ya, I did the bankruptcy thing and spent 9 months on welfare as part of my shift) my new job, new home, new everything is providing me the perfect opportunity to integrate all that I have learned while enjoying the simplicity of connecting with others in a conscious way.

    Never thought I'd land and your posts continue to be anchors to this whole wild and wacky shift. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  43. Daniel, I completely understand your perspective. As wonderful as these heart openings can feel, the sense of detachment worries me as well, I'm 22 and I have never been in a relationship, the idea that I will never be able to experience that intense and all consuming love for one person (as in 'you complete me') is disturbing to me. Is true love (in the romantic sense) incompatible with enlightenment? I hope not, I don't want to be a zombie anymore, I don't care if it hurts.

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  44. Robert, great post.

    I was thinking specifically about the sort of intimacy and closeness (not just talking about sex) you mentioned when I referred to wanting to bring some of my 3D pleasures with me.

    Perhaps, this sort of intimacy is only 3D because we can now only experience it with another person in a way that makes both parties in that relationship pretty much co-dependent on each other.

    Hopefully, and I am going out on an optimistic limb here hehe, in this new world that is being collectively created and that we apparently now inhabit we will still be able to have this experience but in a way that somehow doesn't include any sense of co-dependency.

    Not sure how that is going to play out but I choose to be optimistic and decide it's going to be very interesting:)

    Daniel

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  46. That is great Ilse, awesome, good luck :)

    Yonatan

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  47. Andria Lee, if you were on welfare you didn't experience extreme poverty. I am not on welfare and have no income. I live on ramen noodles and live in a storage room. I have been wearing the same pair of jeans for 3 months, have no car and walk everywhere. I don't consider myself living in extreme poverty

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  48. Thanks Lauren it is a very good message you have given here :=))))))))))


    love

    Fillip

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  50. Ilse is right about relationships, although I couldn't read through all of the post because it brought up too much grief/frustration in me at what I have not yet been able to experience. Most of what we have known as "love" in 3D is actually codependency and energetic vampirism or compromising trade negotiations at best (I'll let you feed off me if I can feed off you). Usually it is much less balanced than that.

    I am finally witnessing the extent to which my mother has been siphoning and controlling my energy and calling it "love." It's making me sick with rage. Today is a rage day, yesterday was a grief day when I got a confusing email from a guy and just cried and cried with old hurt. It was very cathartic, but now I've apparently moved on again in the cycle of trying to break through my original emotional/genetic imprinting.

    Anyway back to my mother, I know that she was imprinted the same way at her birth and that this is not conscious for her, but what depresses me so much is that I have FALLEN FOR HER CRAP for all these years because I was trying to be a "good daughter"! The manipulation, the guilt trips, the threats - she will do ANYTHING to keep control. She has sometimes raged at me and insulted me in terrible ways and then doesn't remember it afterwards and tells me I'm lying if I bring it up. This has been going on since I was much too young to understand and do anything about it, so I naturally repress the pain and rage because I didn't want to believe that my own mother could do this to me. It was too terrifying.

    Now I am grown up and now I am the one who needs to break this dynamic once and for all, because I have no doubt that it has been going on for generations. My father's side is implicated too, but in different ways. Now that I am "drying up" as an energy food source for her, I see her trying to the same tactics on my siblings, and it is shocking to watch from this vantage point. She just will not quit. If she doesn't get what she's looking for, she gets angrier and angrier. She tries different things. Finally she explodes, I guess.

    Giving me guilt this morning about sleeping in. I know that I can't really blame her because she isn't even conscious - as each "power day" and flare goes by and she becomes even MORE stuck in her own ways (from my vantage point), I am overwhelmed with fear and think, "I came from this woman? How?" She does have her moments of kindness and sensitivity and it is true that she has done a lot for me - it just wasn't really what I wanted or needed. And the kindness feels like a trap after the fact when she uses that new closeness to hurt me again. Right now I am not the only one "waking up" anymore and acting strangely - she and my dad are trying to lecture people back into the way they used to be. They will do this for hours! They will overanalyze every situation to death rather than accept it for what it is!

    Maybe that is what I am doing here, with her. The grief and anger are just so strong. I hope I can finally accept them and heal this dynamic once and for all. It is wonderful to have a forum to come on and discuss these things, thank you Lauren for the lovely update and thank everyone for the comments...

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  52. Amen to the soda and water cure! It's the only thing that has seemed to work for the last few weeks to relieve indigestion.

    Thank you, Lauren and friends, for this timely message. I was beginning to fear I was becoming emotionally calloused. Now I know that my focus of seeing the earth upheavals as opportunities for betterment is in alignment with a higher perspective.

    Love,
    Kathy

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  53. Lauren, OH, OH, OH... you amazing, wonderful woman... YES, YES, YES to all of the above and more... your words have once again validated my own guidance... Thank you from my heart and beyond... ~I love you~ Jay, UK xoxoxox

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  55. Thank you Lauren. Every time I see an email from you, I know that I will have more understanding and release of what I am feeling! You explain it all so easily.

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  56. @ useless-eater:-

    These comments refer to the comment that you’ve just removed:-

    I watched your youtube video. “The reality detached American” ... oh useless-eater, how apt is that? It’s appropriate because YOU are one of those “reality detached Americans”. You see conspiracies where in reality there are none.

    Don’t you realise that one of the smartest tricks ever pulled off by those who live in the Dark is to convince you that events that you witness were created by them and that you are powerless to do anything about it? The Dark Ones want you to believe that you are powerless because it gives them control. (That’s the whole purpose of the alien abduction / flying saucer myth – alien invaders with superior technology exterminate us on Earth ... want to know the roots of this myth? The genocide of the Native North American by the white man a long time ago.)

    The truth is far more disturbing – that individual human beings have the power to alter their individual reality and that collectively we are capable of utterly changing our world. That Dark video wants to plant the seed of FEAR into as many people as possible. So many of us who think with their hearts are such a threat to those who want us to live in fear. That video is so transparent in its objective it’s laughable to those with a different perspective; dare I say it – a 5D perspective?

    I think that you are paranoid (hey, it takes one to know one because I used to have the same negative attitude towards life that you obviously have) and I know the source of your paranoia – your refusal to take responsibility for your own actions of co-creation. There is also the element that people who are drowning in negativity are scared by people who are not – their instinct is to pull a balanced or positive person into their mindset because it makes them feel better.

    This is not an attack – it’s a hand being extended to you by me to get you out of the hole that you have dug yourself into.

    I’m not saying that everything is roses and paradise, far from it.

    Seriously, I think that the only thing missing from that video was Chicken Little shouting, “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!”

    (Tough) love, LW.

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  57. Completely corroborates my experiences and hunches from last week. I have never felt such back, chest, solar-plexus, stomach discomfort at the SAME TIME in that way, EVER. At one point as I had a friend working on my back, I said it felt like wings were budding back there. SO glad to trip on this and have someone confirm what I thought I was experiencing...completely out of the blue. Spirit at work. Thanks.

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  58. Thanks LW.

    I'm sick of the bullshit.

    So sick, in fact, that I am enjoying the splendor of not giving a shit about the kinds of comments Useless Eater makes.

    None of us are oblivious, we're just in control of our thoughts and emotions to the extent that we can be. That's called being responsible for our creations and altering them as we see fit, something victim consciousness dwellers don't feel capable of doing.

    That's fine on your planet, but this is ours.

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  59. yeah ive been feeling so much pressure in my back that i keep feeling like something's touching me physically.

    i'm always reaching back and feeling to see if there's something there rubbing on me.

    i also keep clutching my throat. it's so sensitive lately.

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  60. ugh! just typed a bunch, then poof!

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  61. That's sooo acurate Lauren...really in tune with my own current process and with some important Masters' reportings of this moment as well.

    Pretty much enlightned!

    It's really the time to anchor the true and Divine masculine aspects of our I Am Presences so we can take the Divine feminine, here and now on Earth, with grace, freedom & honor.

    Take it with the natural and balanced authority of our sovereingt...
    that was born from this ultimate integration of polarities.

    Real Love...
    Thank You
    Renato

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  62. so i'm not moving. and i feel stupid for thinking i was.

    life is back to being ridiculous and i am flat on my ass.

    it doesn't hurt. i'm just bored.

    REALLY REALLY REALLY BORED

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  63. Hey guys,

    It is so good yes to hear Lauren's posts, where would be be without her? In hysteria land, I suppose. I know for all wanting to hook up with the opposite sex it is sooooo impt. you find someone who shares your views and most probably someone who is going through what you are...integrated you are an awesome duo.

    Me, like most of you felt like all was well, then wham some trickles of the past lay flat at our feet, mean heads.

    My diet has not been the best as I read some are really giving it their all. I go through fasting stages, then need meat...so not punishing myself, but taking it normally with the majority of diet veggies, fruits, wheat products, fish...

    The comment about the vampirism is so true to whoever wrote it again..that was my last 10 yr. relationship...he fits the bipolar definition, with mania of highs and lows. Co-dependency really was most of our issues, it was just going around in a circle, rat race trying to express ourselves. We don't have a road map, and some of us are in this waiting period of some sort. I believe our time is coming, somethings are better left for last.

    With Laurens' post of relinquishing our past months ago, i think, i did it all, but it would creep back in a little at a time because I wasn't doing things for my highest good. Slap me in the face, ya know. I always try to be the balancer and remain neutral, but this process is teaching me to run the other way from negative people/situations as it leaves me sucked dry so lethargic.

    May you all find the humanitarian you are here to be, Rae~Rae

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  64. Oh, yeh I am getting my wings too. I had to soak in epsom/lavender salt this morning...it really works and smells so awesome for the ladies and men...Wal-green's sells it sometimes the bags are 2 for $5.

    My bathroom is off from my bedroom and it smells just beautiful in here as I type.

    :)

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  65. Khai,

    I know about the boredom thing, me too so much I said it out loud the last few days, just that I need to be doing something fulfilling.

    Hey guys!!!!I was told Jupiter will be in our sky April 1st. This means big change on a financial scale, this could be our rescue boat.

    Gilligan's island may be finally rescued.

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  66. At the end of the "Unity Wave" section, the Spiritual Hierarchy mentions a timed release in a fortnight, around about April 4-5, if the 14 days start from April 21 or 22. Sooooo... What? More people released from 3d and/or switch to 5d...? Or... Do we all, including you, wait until then to find out?!

    But yeah, empowered love and the activation of the body brain. Its been coming on stronger and stronger. Callous? I can well imagine many calling it irresponsible. Funny... The last couple of daze I've been getting some of the "false" guidance, urging me to come into the physical and ignore/never mind about all else. Funny, 'cause that type of "guidance" itself pulls me out of the body and the moment! But then the body brain comes on and I come back in to an apparently aimless state and know that THIS is for the best, not aiming to get into body or anything else. So no more aiming or grabbing or grasping. There's STILL that miasm or whatever at my third eye, the ol' projector! But I've been ascending with it all this time...

    But anyway... WHAT about April 4-5th? WHAT happens in a fortnight?

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  67. Thank you so much Laura, I was already going half crazy with all this heart fluttering, Diaphragma-Fluttering and Arritmias again and again and asking myself like so often before if I should not see a cardiologist...
    even if my soul nows already what is is due to, sometime I still get anxious...
    So your explanations help to alige with oneself again, than´s for sharing them.
    Love
    Rebecca

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  68. Hey Patrick; that mention of "in a fortnight" caught my eye too. Yesterday I saw the same timeframe mentioned somewhere, using the same term, "fortnight." I can't for the life of me recall where I saw this reference or even what the context was; it referred to big developments of the dramatic kind. Astrologically speaking, the new moon on April 3rd is loaded, being conjunct Jupiter, opposite Saturn and disposited by Mars exactly conjunct Uranus. A bit of a rough ride is my feeling. The astrology through about May 11 is extremely volatile and potentially fractious and contentious. Just a heads up - or rather an invitation to keep your head down, fly below the radar and maintain a low profile. With Mercury Rx at the same time and in the same sign (Aries) as many other planets, the urge to self-actualize will be powerful but reigned in by the need to review the game plan before moving forward. Never has the need for the kind of neutrality Lauren describes been greater!

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  69. Shatabhisha; I knew about the new moon on April 3rd, not about the other things. Not surprising, though. Well, whatever it is, its a timed-release. An earlier update told of a release we'd go through from 3rd to 5d consciousness that was also timed and written in the stars. Don't know if that refers to what's already happened or not. The only other person I read about this is Karen Bishop. She has said merely that this whole time through into April will be a time of great movement like no other, with loads of light and energy and abundance.

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  70. Thank you, Lauren. You keep coming through for us, and I'm so grateful. Thank you, LW, for the insightful comments about the way the Japanese people are dealing with their pain. To the souls who work for community, thank you. We're on track.

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  71. Hi Lauren,

    Thanks so much for beautifully describing this dynamic and organic nature of this process. This reminds me a lot of what I experienced on a website called lovechangestheworld.com.
    Thanks for your contribution! Julie

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  72. why am i going through this? what did i do to have to feel so bad about myself? cuz its about about me and what i think of myself right? not what he thinks about me or the horrible things he says to me and about me?

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  73. slg8 - I want to say, let him go sweetheart! I too am having to face my fear of being alone. Right now I'm discovering that I have a deep, deep fear of being alone and being unlovable. I have tried my entire life to mold myself into being someone other people would find lovable, admirable, even intimidating. I wanted to be untouchable - I can't, it doesn't work. I'm not saying you're doing that, but trying to be what someone else wants or trying to accept what you can't accept is along a similar vein... I am actually feeling semi-okay right now - it's shocking! I ALMOST feel slightly like my regular old self! So bizarre. But yeah the currents are still flowing through me, one topic to the next. We have to face all of this stuff.

    I guess I can't tell you the right thing to do because I don't know. I keep wanting to try different approaches with this new guy and it's like, WHAT am I grasping at? What am I trying to accomplish? The whole thing feels like manipulation on my part. I'm not just being natural, just being myself because I think "myself" isn't good enough. As if any relationship built on inauthenticity is ever going to be good enough for ME! Who am I kidding? It's a temporary fix. I know that from past relationships, or at least I should.

    Obviously this isn't really about you, I just feel bad reading your comment. Where can we find the strength to stand alone and accept OURSELVES regardless of what other people are saying or doing to us/about us? Because I feel like, if we had THAT then none of the other stuff would matter... or rather, the matter around us would reflect our self-acceptance...

    I think it's something that can't be forced. I think it's just happening. I'm just amazed to feel so... not terrible for the moment!

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  74. well i too was sort of feeling ok, until today....
    i guess im just shocked at the things he calls me, the things he says about me, i can honestly say ive never betrayed him in any way and have always been 100% committed to him and i always put him first, i gave him everything i had, everything.... and i let him do all kinds of things that most people would have stuck around for... its been a very difficult four years, but no matter what he did to hurt me i couldnt stop loving him...unless im lying to myself, i dont feel like im afraid to be alone, im afraid of being alone and being heartbroken and wanting to be with him and not being able to or being heartbroken when i know he is with someone else, if i was over him, being alone would be so easy...i think ive been pushed so far that it wouldnt be as painful now as it would have been in the past....but its hard to say, today is one day tomorrow is another story...
    i just dont understand how i could hate myself so much that i would put myself through this...
    ive always acted like myself, i couldnt have shown any more love to him, been anymore loyal, forgiving, patient, i just dont understand :(

    maybe youre being too hard on yourself ava? we all sort of put our best foot forward in the beginning ...

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  77. slg8 - very interesting! I actually would find it impossible to be in your situation. There are absolutely no circumstances under which I feel I would allow a man to treat me that way, no matter how much I loved him. I have been treated badly before and sometimes I let it slide for a bit because I'm idealizing, but eventually my rage comes out and screams "to hell with you!" and I leave. Sometimes I have overreacted... it is tough to say. My love for a man has never been strong enough to overwhelm that self-preservation/anger/defiance in me. I guess I would interpret that type of behavior as "he doesn't love me, so why am I giving him MY love?" I've shattered a few egos in my day and have enjoyed it, I will admit. It may have been a bit childish, I'm not exactly proud of it, but with some of them I do look back with a feeling of satisfaction... I mean again that may sound horrible, but I cannot let them get away with bad treatment! I just think it is most important to love myself first?

    You bring up some good points about me misinterpreting situations and I'm trying to look at that. It is very difficult to see into your own blind spots as you know. Anyway I am more than willing to continue this conversation and I'm not trying to give you a rough time, I know you have your reasons, I guess I have been a lot quicker to pull the plug even when I was feeling extremely intense love/attraction... maybe it wasn't as intense as yours? I dunno, I cannot imagine WHAT type of feeling could justify me putting up with the type of emotional abuse you're describing. I truly can't. It sounds like a form of Stockholm Syndrome to me almost...

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  78. i give up. my head hurts and everything sucks again.

    i told you i'd be flat on my ass soon.

    but now i have no reason to get back up.

    i'm staying down.

    i might kill myself. who knows.

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  79. Thanks Ilse. What you write makes a lot of sense, if that's even possible right now! xo

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  83. Dear Ilse,

    Your last comments were very nice, they reminded me of things I can do to feel better and I fully appreciated them. (Even though they were addressed to Khai, LOL)
    THANK YOU!

    Love,
    Ivy

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  84. I agree. Thank you Ilse! Very well put in a very challenging time :)

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  85. Dear Lauren,
    It is too hard, too much, too much loss and than more loss. tired

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  86. Is there another solar flare or something going on? I know it's partly that I'm so hungover, but today has been BAD in terms of anxiety for me. Right now I'm having another one of those panic attacks like death. Unreal compression/clenching in my chest and solar plexus - headaches... not enjoying this.

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  87. I'm glad everyone knows exactly where I am in this process that I'm far behind all of you.*


    *I am not actually glad or sincere.

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  88. FYI, if anything you have to say includes things like "you're far behind me" or "i'm higher than you" or "i know what you're going through because i was there a long time ago and WOW you have so far to go because you're so behind and you suck" just DONT even talk to me.

    i don't wanna hear it.

    i don't CARE what you have to say.

    I just don't want to hear it.

    We're clearly not friends.

    I dont talk to you.

    Don't talk to me.

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  91. We are here to "defrost" ourselves... so we are able to lovingly embrace the world...

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  92. fuck the world. something needs to lovingly embrace my fat ass.

    yet no such thing has or will occur... whatevs.

    i love it when people who shouldnt be talking delete their posts :D

    it means i don't have to accidentally read parts that make me curious and read more which then just makes me annoyed.

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  93. I want people's opinions.

    Is this shit ever gonna get better?

    I've moved so many times. I've been hungry so many times. I've had no money so many times. These symptoms are killing me. The reality is still the same nauseating stench.

    And please no people like Ilse. No offense but I can't stomach it.

    What the fuck is the point of endlessly repeating the same cycles over and over again? I feel like a mouse and want to get off this wheel. How?

    Is there only one option to exit this sick illusion?

    Anyone opinions? Anyone else fed up beyond belief?

    I swear I can't take this anymore...

    Anyone?

    Khai - thanks for being you! You've given me some laughs in this otherwise shitty illusion.

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  94. John - right now I have the feeling I'm losing it. Like I might actually be crazy. I've needed to do one single thing all day long and have not been able to force myself to do it. The fatigue is slamming me. Really weird, intense dreams last night. Anyone else have a dream about something biting them in the left hand? Mine was a snake. This is some of the most intense energy I've ever felt and I don't think I'm literally crazy but I'm straddling two worlds that hate each other. I think the wall between them may be finally starting to crack... hang on...

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  95. Yes it is hard but notice something?...
    This Internet age has given rise to the critical sniper - and snipers have always been the most despised of soldiers. The Internet critic is foulmouthed and illiterate - he hides behind a cloak of anonymity, he offers no products of his own making. The insults he issues have a playground quality. He says to others what was once said to him, believing that they will feel the same hurt as he did - and still does. And somehow this will compensate him. The abused has been sold on the benefit of becoming the abuser. TO
    (i WISH TO HIGHLIGHT THE LAST PARAGRAPH)
    this is a loving posy if you cant see--that is fine--one day you will...

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  96. lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as if today wasnt enough of a f-ckin disappointment! i type a whole huge thing and it says we're sorry something went wrong blablablaaaaaaaaaaaa....

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  97. yeah i had a dream where a black jackal bit my left hand in this cave i was in.

    then he released it and spoke "you are a master here"

    i think it was anubis. its the only black jackal in humanity's collective consciousness and i think he was allowing me access into the cave.


    anyways. yep, everyone hates the internet sniper. then they'll come on here and say dumb shit like, "well too bad you need someone like me to feel good about yourself." to which i always think, HELL FUCKING NO. i feel infinitely better when you're not around and it sucks when you're here and i dont feel better about anything when you talk.

    @ava

    the fatigue got me hard today too. im awake, but i still feel this disoriented lump in my heart and this GIANT wave of fatigue. i feel like the life has been sucked out of me.

    i can only hope that's true and soon all this will end....

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  98. ugh! my body is generating so much heat!

    i closed all my doors and windows earlier and just left the fan on so i could nap and not worry about hearing any music or idiot dads barging in.

    i just went to open them and the heat inside my room is ridiculous compared to coolness of EVERYWHERE ELSE.

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  99. Warning re those born with natal Jupiter in mutual reception with Neptune...This indicates the potential for getting carried away with things...being bipolar...getting overblown, overflown, overgrown...either being a false prophet or following a false prophet...There is also a suggestion of a lack of integrity as well, as in being a snake oil salesman, penny ante preacher or false prophet; there is a warning that these folks are fakers rather than fakirs. When transiting Neptune comes to activate these natal placements, but a few years hence, some of these folks, including Steve Pavlina, will finally be "hoist' on their own petard." Be forwarned. Decode her full name, including the middle initial, as an anagram. To do so, you must use all of the letters, once each, i.e., if there are two t's, then you must include two t's, not three, and not one. And all of the words must be common nouns, not proper nouns. Clue: her name,, including the middle initial, yields three words, the first one being "a..." There's a lovely prize if you get the correct answer!!!

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  100. My body is vibrating and my emotions are up and down. Big issues with neck, shoulders and back. Feeling antsy yet exhausted...sleepless nights. One after the other, big changes in my everyday life that are out of my control. People being mean spirited and uncaring. Time flying by and struggeling to live an ordinary life of mudane tasks, work and paying bills without totally freaking out in this time of money lacking. Losing old friends and making new friends who are more in tune with me spiritually. Accepting this lifetime
    experience 'family' with a different outlook, open hearted rather than defensively. Yet amongst all this confusing energy I feel a peaceful and excited Knowing that this is what is to be. Breathing deeply and being in quiet helps alot! So many changes...letting go and opening up hearts and minds. Love really is the answer~

    Yes drinking bicarbonate in water does help with the heart burn and also keeps the body proper ph balance.

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  101. what the heck is going on?

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  102. No question about it, this past week for me has been one of the hardest of my life. So many changes going on, and time is flying! To me its been partly about facing deep-seated core issues/fears as well as completing karmic cycles and situations.

    Ava - thanks for sharing about your life and dreams. I had a dream like that about a year ago, although I was actually pulling the snake out of my forearm! In my case I took it as a sign of the shift out of reptilian DNA/mindset. Maybe this relates to your dream in some way? Two nights ago I had a vivid dream where I was flowing through time with Jimi Hendrix while he jammed out on his guitar! It actually felt like he was trying to help me! Really cool, and I know he knew a lot in his 'life'. I'm really hoping that April brings in an a bunch of abundance for us all! One day at a time in this type of energy!

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  103. does anyone have an idea of what this snake might mean? i did have a dream a few months ago about a snake...

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  104. The snake was a very green "rattlesnake" but it had a cobra head and an extremely short tail. It jumped on my hand and bit me very lightly - I was wearing gloves and I didn't think it had punctured the skin. I ripped it off and then stomped on its open jaw and crushed it. But what happened then is some venom, electric-blue colored, had actually gotten into my hand. It formed these big holes in my palm, which was actually empty and full of cotton.

    REALLY WEIRD.

    Today I am still tired and stressed. I had to process some major terror, shame, and insecurity early on, but then I turned a corner and made some progress. Things seem more "up" but I'm still anxious, confused, still have brain fog... and I just went for a walk/VERY light jog for 2.2 miles thinking it would help to enjoy the sunshine - instead I feel completely drained and my digestion is completely messed up. Great...

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  105. i feel like im losing it.... between the bf and trying to find a way to make some money....i had an interview today, and i think they just called me back but i didnt answer and my mailbox is full because i hate checking my voicemail... i feel like a jerk for not just saying ok ill take anything for any pay, since my parents are helping me survive and my bf or ex or whatever the hell he is... helping me.... and i hate it, i hate not being able to fend for myself... i did anok job of it for most of my life... anyway, they start you at 7.25 an hour, who the hell can even live on that, it wont pay my bills, and apparently im ungrateful because of course it will help pay for some of them, but wtf, what am i suppose to do with that? what am i going to do? i cant put this on my parents, i cant have them paying for me... i am too old, they dont deserve it, i need something to happen here, why cant i figure this out for myself.... what am i doing wrong... how am i going to fix this situation... there is part of me thats so calm and whatever about all this then there is that sideof me that is freaking out... what if in this lifetime im suppose to be that person, the screw up or the homeless person, or the person who puts their parents in debt because they keep helping me... this cannot happen, i am more capable than this.... i have more to offer....
    off subject i had THE WORST cramps i ever had in my life sat night... and nothing to show for it really???

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  106. did that bitch just call lauren a false prophet? like wtf.

    you dont like her, get the fuck out. WE HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR BS

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  107. yeah something like that, but i dont have the energy to figure out what her initials might mean.... i never thought lauren was trying to come off as a false prophet... thats the thing, i come here because i like what she has to say, and i like the people that come here, with the exception of the few that come here to say stuff like that... i dont know, all i know is i dont like anything that is going on right now, everything seems really messed up

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  108. yeah i agree. FUCK MY LIFE.

    i just went out and bought cigarettes and drank two shots of whisky to try to numb myself.

    i hate me.

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  109. Guys! Guys! A cobra escaped from the Bronx Zoo!

    I AM ON FIRE RIGHT NOW!

    Hopefully this cobra does not hurt anyone or get hurt by anyone. I feel bad for the poor little guy... or for anyone who comes close to it!

    I went upstairs and saw it on the news. I don't watch the news but my folks leave CNN & MSNBC on all day long. Mom just PRODDED ME relentlessly about not finding a room/moving out yet (I told her I was seriously looking and I will pay her rent on the 1st if I can't by then? WTF?) - I definitely snapped. Intense rage.

    But I actually had somewhat of a money/job breakthrough today which was great! It took processing quite a lot of terror/shame before I got there though... and I am still not sure I can maintain with all the brain fog/distractions/fatigue...

    Oh, what a clever little anagram. How cute. I didn't even know who they were referencing at first. Lauren and I have had our differences and I don't agree with everything she says, but really? Compared to pretty much every other channeler I've read, she's way more grounded, unassuming, and "real" than the lot of them, and I would read her latest update over anyone else's every time.

    We know you won't take it seriously Lauren, just letting you know we've got your back. :-P

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  110. yeah ive been drinking too and being a pathetic khai

    everything that is happening is my own fault and i dont feel like im looking for sympathy or pity but i am...

    i saw that on the new the other day too ava...
    so you figured out the anagram? i cant even think straight to even try....

    i was so looking forward to this interview today, and the job or what the pay and hours were was nothing like i was hoping for... so does it make me an asshole to say no if they offer it to me? especially since i need a job so bad? i think that bothers me more than being broke... but its because i know if i dont find something soon my parents have to dish out more money, unless they finally just say no.... they are great and help me so much and i am not even as grateful as i should be, i am but the way i act probably comes off as im not.... i am so confused with myself!

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  111. I'm getting really f-ing sick of the universe stringing me along like this. What is this, a joke? Let's have fun torturing the little piggies and watching them squeal? Let's draw it out as long and slowly as possible to create maximum frustration, disappointment, and craziness?!?!?!

    Who the heck is in charge here?!?!?!?!?! I am officially filing a complaint!

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  112. i so hear you ava....
    i can only blame myself i guess... :/

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  113. I don't think the cobra escaping has anything to do with the dreams we are getting. I had loads of snakes all over the ground, they were gray/brown looking, but this dream was months ago. I also had a dream months ago about a black jaguar biting my left hand, clinching it, but then letting it go as I mentally said you can't do this to me.

    Dreams are something else, they are wild right now, but understandable.

    I was in a deep depression 3 days ago, something unbearably strong came over me so much that i grabbed me some happy pills, Pristiq. 50 mg. and cut them in half. I am taking one each day and feeling loads better.

    I just couldn't see myself falling apart around my children and feeling so helpless.

    I called an old friend who was the one I had to process and let go, wished him happy birthday, had lunch and my heart went up to the moon, literally. I slept like a baby in the warm arms of love. This is all I can do for myself and him, as our relating to one another is the only thing that deems true. We are spiritually and logically connected. Moving out of that situation only cleared my thinking, but weighed on my heart & soul. Clearly this is was not a path that I needed to continue, so I am a friend with boundaries, healthy cultivating boundaries.

    Maybe that is what we are supposed to be doing. It is the only thing bringing in the light. Stick to your guns guys and gals, just be you, nice, loving and supportive. You are unique and here for a reason.

    Love sent your way~ Rae-Rae

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  114. Your dreams mean something to me, Rae! :-P

    slg8 - Awww... I know what you mean but I feel bad hearing you blame yourself... but I guess if we can accept the blame, we can accept the responsibility, and then we have the power to change things? That is what I'm hoping anyway...

    I am suddenly having TONS of new freelance work and commitments/ coming in. It's like everyone wants a piece of me right now! I am trying to sort through a million different items on my plate. This would be fine (I need the cash!) if I wasn't so brain-dead, exhausted, and stressed out still... I just need more energy! And of course I was insomniac last night and couldn't sleep until really late. I feel kind of sick and there is still some dread and fear clenching at me. I feel like I am on a ride that's going too fast and I'm not sure the mechanisms are safe, basically.

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  115. ava
    im just i suppose doubting that we are suppose to let the universe do its thing, im guessing we still have to do something, and the choices me make etc??? im just pretty confused about it all...
    i didnt fall asleep till about 2am, thats been my pattern for the last week i think... and at about 12:30, i was so hungry i was getting the shakes n stuff from not eating enough and then i get a little anxious... so i ate some scrambled eggs :/ at least it helped... and the same today, i was getting the shakes and hot flashes from not eating... munched on some tostitos and had some OJ.... gonna make dinner soon....
    i got more response on my jean thingy im doing, so hopefully ill get some bookings from it... that job did call me back yesterday but my voicemail was fulls so no message and no call back, and honestly i dont want to even call back, i just hate the pay, the hours, i just dont think i can do it...

    i like your last sentence, makes sense...

    still having bf issues, he is trying but i am standing firm on how i want to be treated...until he at least pretends to understand i cant deal...

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  116. my snake dream was months ago, but it had to do with an ex of my BF and she was holding it and coming at me with it, so i dont know if it was the snake or her that was the issue... i dont know why i even dreamt of her, i almost never think of her or worry about anything to do with her and my BF, so who knows... it was a weird dream... i think i was a little scared, but i didnt get bit.... i dont remember what color it was....

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  117. i also was pretty spot on with the symptoms in karens energy report from the other day, as with laurens....
    its gotta all mean something....

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  118. idk.

    today i processed a lot of earth garbage.

    she was not happy. neither was i.

    but anyways. i'm going to hawaii to intern at an artistic eco-village. yay me. i have to get a job and save money to help pay for the airfare and give myself some spending money.


    idk anything about anything anymore. i'm just as dumb as the bean bag im sitting on right now. i do know that hawaii is going to be really kickass and healing for my body and spirit.

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  119. my face hurts, even my teeth. it's my bones.

    it started as this sort of headache in my third eye, and then it went to my cheekbones, then my front teeth. i can sort of feel it moving to my chin and bottom teeth.

    it's accompanied by pressure in my higher heart that spans out like wings over my shoulders and down my arms to my hands.

    it suuuuuuucks.

    i still have this swollen eye lid too and that doesnt help. i really have no idea where this pain is coming from.

    it's kinda in the top of my skull too.

    it's SUPER achey.

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  120. yeah so despite the fact that im tired, and that i usually go to asleep around now and that i've been trying to go to sleep, the inexplicable pain in the bones of my face is so bad that i just cant.

    it's also moved to the bridge of my nose. it's in the bone.

    it feels like how your teeth feel when you first get braces.

    like BAD. now my molars are starting to get it. all of my teeth are aching too.

    its pretty much my entire skull excluding my bottom jaw bone.

    yeah. my entire skull feels like it just got hit with brick.

    idk why. ive just been laying around all day.

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  121. wow khai... do you have a sinus infection? or os this all just ascension crap?

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  122. i have a chronic sinus infection but the pain was in my bone. it was gone when i woke up today.

    i didnt even mention that after that, i woke up to feel massive tremors in my entire body. it felt like the room was shaking.

    it was really crazy. then i felt these waves of physically euphoric energy.

    it felt like a nicotine rush. i felt SUPER relaxed, like my muscles just relaxed and my mind and body were floating in this relaxation. i felt kinda high.

    i was just floating with all this face pain.

    the pressure had flowed down my arms and into my hands and down my body.

    it was super intense and i had no idea what was going on. i was just in my bed with all this pain in my skull and this relaxation throughout my body and weird, powerful tremors inside me.

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  123. i sort of feel like i feel nothing right now...

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  124. Khai,

    What I am learning from my own experiences, another one last night is that whatever we left behind if it is not ethical or morally sound it will notify us if we sink into it again. This is what happened to me. I started talking to the ex as a friend, cause I sincerely needed it as my heart and will was beyond broken, all the while i felt on a high, three days past and at nite so much anxiety set in and all the thoughts racing thru my head about my choices that i didn't sleep!! I asked my guides to take it away, and it would not subside, usually it would if not my fault.

    I woke up, picked up the phone, knowing what i had to do and told him i couldn't talk to him it was just not right...sleep commenced and relaxation set in.

    One thing very familiar to you about the jaw or head pain is if i am thinking (head) or saying (mouth/jaw), or hearing (ears) things i that are not of good, then pain sets in. It is as though our pain mechanisms are fully functioning to make us aware at all times of our behavior to stay aligned for the good.

    Does it make sense to you?
    I know this is EXACTLY what it is.

    Rae~Rae

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  125. Khai,

    Focus on love, universal love, you can feel it from me, from us, first then outward and bring it back to yourself. Don't focus on the naysayers so to speak, embrace goodness...if you can get out volunteer with something if only briefly, things feelings switch. You will get through this, i know i had many things going on to but not to the severity as everyone else except depression and cruel people.

    Signify with love, you will see it changes everything!!

    Do not send out negativity it is boomeranging right back at ya.

    I hope this helps.

    Love to you~ Rae-Rae

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  126. anyone feel like today flew by, i feel like i missed a few hours somewhere....

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  127. and i think because i wish something would happen so bad that i analyze the shit out of everything...that there will actually be a big change someday and that certain things happen because of it.... that lead to it... like im sitting in the longest waiting room ever

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  128. I'm there too slg8. At around 5:15 something commanded that I sleep and so I passed out on the couch - and I truly cannot remember the last time I slept anywhere but a bed, usually that's impossible for me - and then I woke up an hour and a half or so later and there's snow on the ground. Big, fat flakes falling right now. Reminded me of the first sentence of this post of Lauren's. I imagined, what if all of the world suddenly fell into this enchanted slumber... and I do mean everyone... and when we woke up, everything was different? I feel like that would be a lot more fun than this nail-biting, hair-pulling, drawn out wakeup situation we're all in... meh

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  129. Actually, I think this is the fattest snow I've ever seen! It looks like big white moths dropping down. I have to go outside and look at this... weird!

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  130. thats what happened the last fsnow here, i was day dreaming out the window checkin out the snow, them these huge i guess youd call em snow balls would come flyin down real fast, was really wierd....
    i slept late today and i did a little woodworking and i guess i lost track of time, hours had gone by, didnt feel like it... freaked me out a bit...
    just started snowing here... wonder how much we're gonna get :/
    im game for waking up and everything being different.... as long as its good ;)

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  131. had a dream of floating in the ocean and ending up out pretty far and having to swim back.... no one waited for me....

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  132. oh and khai, i was having headaches last night, and my eyes and ears hurt, my ears hurt more this morning... theyve been ringing too...drivin me nuts
    we got about a foot of snow here...i am not in the mood to snow blow

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  133. No snow here, beautiful sunshine, spring air, birds chirping and life moving. I see what is happening for us. You have got to see it, don't you? Without mentioning it, it is happening.
    On another note, people are waking out of slumbers realizing what serves them and what does not, what holds them back from realizing true happiness, etc. I am glad to see people finally having faith in their true value.

    So many, like us have not accomplished fulfillment yet in life and they are being given the push to do it thanks to the planets lining up right now. Aries this fire engine is sure to light fires under many butts to get them in gear to realization of their true potential. It is awesome to feel this wonderful energy.

    Awesome, no more aches, no pains, nothing, nada, all gone. I know I am doing something right. I live by the 10 commandments, it works. I realize what I say is turning into reality, so watch what you speak!!!! I cannot tell you enough, I want every one of us to have a blessed path. Speak that you feel well, even if you don't, say it aloud, only positive affirmations, watch what happens...and a must, at all times, make choices that are aligned with your highest good*

    Please share with me too on your experiences. Life is pivoting.

    Rae~Rae

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  134. What to do with all this positive energy? I am swirling in it. I sure wish I had a life, i would be blasting through it with this surety that anything is possible. I just like doing so many things and with the funds on the down-lo, what can any one person get accomplished without settling in some mundane work?

    Something just has be coming around the corner! I keep getting the date 4-22. Something wonderful is going to happen in that time frame of Easter, i just know it.

    I sure wish I had some sort of guideline to follow. I have many astrologers trying to sell me recommendations to follow for this time period, but is this just another ploy for money? I believe we already know where we are headed and that we all know we have to keep our thoughts in check.

    Last nite, i kept seeing a man who says 'Your thoughts become your actions' He was repetitive....like manifestation/synchronicity.

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  135. Hello all,
    I'm a bit late to the party as I've just emerged from my self-induced cave again from the agony of the past 2 weeks.

    I have not even read Lauren's message yet - something told me to just read through the comments. I have read through most of them just now and I am shocked at how similar all of you are to me!

    I have been suicidal on and off, as my 3D world has collapsed. I almost died 6 months ago from an illness that now requires medicine and regular testing. My boyfriend at the time was great and there for me, but soon after the new year, the strain of everything broke us apart. We are now "best friends" who communicate daily but I haven't seen him since Feb.

    I have no real job, no health insurance (while being high-risk), no boyfriend - I spend almost all of my time alone in my apartment, struggling to figure out why God let me live.

    Thanks to the comments here I am reminded that Mercury retrograde just started, explaining this horrendous week. (I'm a Gemini).

    While nursing the wounds of being a single person again, I revisited my old obsession for my soulmate/twin flame, the one who rejected me years ago who doesn't care if I live or die.

    Like one of you posted here, I'm dealing with a mother who is very controlling and is the source of my codependency issues.

    I feel that by now in my 40s life should have been flip opposite to what it has become.

    How did I get to such a sorry state? I was supposed to have this "great big mission" and be creative and share my talents and help change lives, but instead I find myself trapped in limitation and fear, and unable to find my way out!

    I am relieved to see that other starseeds/lightworker activators are going through this hell with me - it's the only proof I have that I'm not insane.

    I have lost much hope and wonder daily if anything spiritual can be trusted when this battle has been going on for so long with NO end in sight???

    I am trapped between the 3D reality of hell I live in, and the fantasy of what could be and what is supposed to be but still offers no proof at this late hour. What gives??? How much more can be expected of us? I feel that many of us have fallen by the wayside by now. I shouldn't still be standing after this decades-long purgatory.

    WHY am I still here?

    Thank you all for sharing your experiences, I have gotten much just from reading here.

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  136. i have no freaking idea. everything just fucking sucks. im turning into someone i dont like, that apparently the universe supports, but who i dont feel connected to and who i dont benefit from. itd be fine if i died, but they're not allowing that.

    i feel like everything has been hijacked as i spin out of control and out of sanity, losing my grip, my passion, my heart.

    darkness is forever. chaos reigns. life is only pain.

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  137. if it's true what they say, that it's all the same, we're all one, and that nothing really matters, THEN WHY CANT I HAVE IT MY WAY?

    why does it have to be only their way?

    why can't i ever have what i want?

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  138. Khai,

    I pondered on the same theory of my way, but I believe it will be our way. Clear your mind, free it from negativity, let it all go. Realize you will be able to allow yourself to live freely just as you thought somewhere in your very being that is how it should be.

    Just hang on and move forward, ask for help be kind as if you were talking to yourself. We don't have the answers, but the awesome new reality is that we know it is going somewhere better than where we were.

    Think about all the people that went through the same thing from what I understand. Delerium sets in only if you question it. They did not have the advantage we do, realize that. We have cleaned out our fears, released our baggage only to allow ourselves to create a new reality. What do you envision that to be? Work with that. Talk about it, write it, draw it and if something else comes from it, I can only believe it is better than where we started.

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  139. Check this site out. Read the part of Soul Retrieval, it sure sounds that part of all of us had left in the process so that we wouldn't endure the full pain, but it sure felt like the whole brunt of the pain.

    http://www.homeopathyplus.net/shamanicwork.html

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  140. Best post since Ass Over Teacup!

    Thanks for the validation -

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  141. i dont get this... i feel like out of all of my friends, im the only one going through this kind of stuff, the no job in forever, no money, failing relationship, just feeling poopy and unhappy....

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  142. Rae - interesting that you posted about soul retrieval. I found out about it a few months ago and actually sent messages to some practitioners online because I was feeling desperate and was curious who was out there. In the end I decided not to spend hundreds of dollars to let someone mess around with my energy. I wasn't thrilled with their responses, I guess... I didn't feel that they knew anything "special" about me. I do believe in fragmentation, but I'm hoping I can heal it myself. I am just not convinced that someone else can do it for me. I dunno...

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  143. i think i know what's wrong.

    the unseens reminded me the other day that every moment in reality is a particle chosen out of infinite particles by the creator, thus carrying the frequency of the creator.

    then they asked me, do you love yourself, the creator, as your are in spirit?

    and i don't know the answer.

    logically i would say yes, but something still didnt click.


    just now i was trying to masturbate, and i was doing everything right, everything that usually got me off, it all made sense, but i couldnt get there. i just kept trying and trying and my head kept on hurting and hurting trying to understand. my head still aches. and then i realized that it doesnt matter if it makes sense logically, it's the feeling that im looking for, not the fairy tale.

    and i just dont feel anymore. i dont remember what it feels like to love me. i dont remember what it feels like to cry. i just drift through time afraid of dying, but dying inside.

    and then i sort of realized that i've been acting like we're still in duality. and the truth is that we're not anymore. ive been so afraid of stepping into something i hate and getting caught in another prison, a nightmare reality. ive just been so scared of doing something wrong, i've been doing nothing at all, not realizing that every move i make is now only in the direction i need to go.

    i keep judging every decision and experience logically, not based on how i feel. i'm trying to avoid the mistakes other people, normal people make. and in the end i'm making a bigger one.

    i've just been trying so hard to be more than myself. and that's not working out.

    in the porn i was watching, i saw an actor who looked just like i would if my body was brought into pure balance. and i just felt like this person was perfect, no matter who he is, he's perfect. he just is.

    and now i feel like all i need to do to be perfect is to just be myself. i dont have to push myself to take the high road or stay in neutrality or blah blah blah. maybe by realizing this, i'm accomplishing all those things in my own way. i don't pretend to understand it completely. but i do know that what i'm doing now isn't working, and that it's time for alice to find her way through wonderland.

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  144. Khai -

    I like what you've written here. Poetic, poignant revelation although I'm sure some folks will be offended by the sexual stuff. :-) Oh well, live and let live -- I for one admire your honesty.

    What you've written here reminds me somewhat of a conclusion I came to several weeks ago. It was as if I hit the "ground floor" with my depression and anxiety. All throughout my life, I've been bouncing from extreme to extreme: I would either try to avoid/escape my depression and pretend it's not there/look for solutions to "fix it", or I would fall into it and say, "I don't care anymore, I want to die, fuck life, I give up, fuck everything."

    But a few weeks ago, I made a different decisions. I realized that I was feeling my depression - feeling it quite acutely, but this time instead of trying to escape or instead of letting it overtake me, I was going to allow myself to feel it but STILL make the decision to move ahead with my life. I was going to face the reality of it, but at the same time I was going to face the reality of my physical existence and take every slow, painful step forward WITH this feeling and at the pace that felt doable to me. I was going to accept the burden and yet still keep walking - one foot at a time.

    When I was on SSRI meds for over a year in 2005, I witnessed firsthand that life without feeling is worthless - even if the feeling is incredibly negative, I'd still rather have that than be a zombie, which is what I had become. I woke up every morning with extreme TMJ because my body couldn't stand the pressure of feeling all of this stuff without the light of my conscious acceptance to soften it. It has been a long, slow, painful road to get to this space I am now, and it is STILL painful and still slow and frustrating, but I've made the conscious decision not to give up on myself anymore, and to try to go to at the pace that the slowest parts of me feel comfortable with.

    This past week, I am suddenly being inundated with work projects which will soon translate to $$$. I am finding encouraging mentors, people who really understand and support me and are "on the same wavelength." Actually getting myself to sit down and do the work has been challenging, and there was one day where I said "screw it" because I just wasn't feeling it. Today, I am feeling it for some reason, so I'm riding that wave and trying to accomplish as much as I can. I am moving away from that all-or-nothing, black-or-white mentality. I'm accepting that I can't control my feelings, but that I also don't need to draw definite mental conclusions/judgments about things based on how I am feeling at any given moment. I can allow the feelings and yet still continue walking slowly in the direction I want to go. I may need to sit down and take a break, and that's okay.

    I'm still in pain from my mother's comments and from failed attempts at relationships, but that is okay. I am accepting those things as well. I am also meeting new friends and have some exciting times coming up. It is a mixture of good/bad, and that's okay too. I feel I am getting a more confident footing and am not relying on escapism/distractions to do so - although I still relapse at times. That's okay too!

    This is looking at it from a somewhat different perspective, but I feel we are on a similar page here. There are no shortcuts, but the more we do and the more we accept, the better we get at handling it and can then take on more, as long as we go at our own pace with it. Baby steps! :-)

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  145. khai i feel the same way, i dont want to screw up either, i feel like im doing nothing because i dont even know what to do... and i dont even know if i love myself, because some of the things i let happen, wouldnt happen if i did? i dont know, so confused
    ava... i feel like youre right, how many times have we heard we need to face the feeling, feel it, not run from it, work through it and move on... glad to hear things are going well for you....
    i still feel like im waiting for something to happen....

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  146. i feel...right now. i feel like i'm a new person.

    not a magnificent butterfly of a better person like we all thought, but just a blank slate.

    i feel totally neutral about absolutely everything in my past, and all i can say for myself now is that i'm bored.

    i'm moving out of being trapped in an internal world, and starting to become comfortable expressing my energy externally.

    i think what happened is that something shifted and i'm learning first that it did shift and the controls i was using no longer function, and also that there are new controls and now i'm learning to use them.

    that's what i'm doing now. i'm sort of starting to operate in a really different, externally based way.

    i have total writer's block though. no emotional attachment to anything, and no emotional reactions. im not broken, i'm just in total neutrality and i havent experienced anything that would inspire me to feel any way about anything.

    lately, ive been seeing a LOOOOOOOOT of pictures of men with really uncanny similarities in the DNA related to the physical body. it's like i'm seeing myself in total balance. i'm seeing all these men who have my body type, coloring, porportions, and facial features. it's really weird. i'm not even looking. they just keep popping up.

    i wonder if it means something but i'm not really sure what. my intuition has been kinda haywire lately.

    i'm learning to respond more to physical stimuli and to be guided by feelings instead of telepathic signals from ET beings.

    it's really weird. i have to force my brain to let go and let my feelings take over.

    trusting my DNA is the first step to loving it. and thats a step in the direction of letting it shine in its full brightness and clarity.

    it's getting easier now that i'm realizing exactly what's going on and how to operate in this new system. i'm still disoriented but i'm feeling calmer now that i understand what's happening.

    it's giving me the motivation to fully immerse myself in the present moment. in the end, that's all there is.

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  147. wow. i was just looking up one of the guys whose DNA resembles mine, because i have absolutely nothing better to do with my time.

    he's a model, and apparently someone took the time to find his measurements and he's as tall, has the same shoe size, and weighs the same as i will when my body snaps back into balance.

    it's really freaky.

    it's like i'm really SEEING what my DNA looks like and it's pretty hot.

    heeeeeeelllll yeeeeeeeeesssss

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  148. lol khai...glad youre happy again ;)

    SirianHome...hope youre feeling better...

    im still in the same boat here.. weird dreams, tired...etc... just still loads happier that my anxiety is tons better than it has been...

    Had my first designer denim party, didnt go as well as hoped but im not going to give up...the jeans were great...

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  149. wanted to share this, brings up feelings...had heard it before and it made me feel the same then as it did today....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrrdLO8fie0

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  150. Yes, I will try to fix you...as the song goes.
    I heard this song last year and thought the same thing, its beautiful. We are no long prone to illusions as we once were but we are wide awake becoming happy little souls once again.

    Over the past few days, I had so much happiness I was like a kid, mobile and all. Then today, wham major headache, finally it subsided.

    I have had to let the same person go so many times that I am now more at peace than I was before, so that's a good thing.

    All the promises gone, all the thoughts of being together gone. I often wonder why are we in this life? I am grateful for my children and knowing some wonderful people, but my life was really empty besides family.

    To create what I wouldn't know but that I had thoughts or ideas that I just didn't have the passion for them as I should have so I figured no way was that my path.

    Clearly we would not be left alone to figure it out ourselves, I believe that we will be guided. That is the faith and trust I rest on.

    So many psychic readers email me trying to get me to call them to say to lead me to attaching to my energy ...whatever, not this girlie. Some wisdom to reside within our own inner knowing exists.

    What do ya'll think?

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  151. im still stuck on why do i seem to be the only one i know in the situation im in... i mean alot of people are struggling but i seem to be the worst, that i know of...

    the song... it is beautiful, but it makes me sad too...i too have had to let the same person go so many time, or at least tried to, but i